lil_olympia (lil_olympia) wrote in professorfetish,

I rather hate it when this happens. It starts out fun. You plan out ways to talk to him and what you're going to say. You dwell on every facet of the conversation you just had, what went well and what you should have said, and you go over everything he said hoping to find a deeper meaning in it. It's fun, and you feel like you've made a friend. You know it's not going anywhere, it never will, and it's fine.

Then it gets to the point where it's not fine. The fact that nothing will happen starts to genuinely hurt, and the fact that even if something happened it couldn't last hurts too.

You realize that he's nice to you because he's supposed to be. If he's flirting, it's not intentional, and he probably does it with every girl. He doesn't like you anymore than he likes anyone else. You're becoming annoying with all the visits, you just know it.

But it's still so much fun! When you're actually there talking to him, he'll say something that lifts you up and gives you confidence and you're back to square one.
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